Category Archives: Real Life

One Bad Apple — Re-post

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They always say you never know how much you liked/loved/used something until it is gone. I so rarely updated my blog, and yet now that I can’t post on it and know it updates where others can see it, I am bothered. I am sad. I want to update it every 15 minutes and I have tons of ideas of what I want to do.But no. Stupid hackers had to go and ruin it. And for what? A few minutes of having their bile and vitriol displayed on an out of the way site that no one ever looks at? How lame is that?

Now I am having to learn about security measures and re-posting everything because of a few bad apples. Go crawl back under your rocks trolls.

UPDATE:

I will now be re-posting all of my facebook notes on my last attempt to have this work. If it gets immediately hacked again (let’s hope not) then I will be finding an alternate solution to WordPress. All of the re-posts will be updated to their original post date.

Steelseries BlizzCon Sweepstakes

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At some point in September Steelseries, the makers of World of Warcraft peripherals, hosted a sweepstakes. The grand prize? A trip for 2 to BlizzCon. Plane tickets, hotel rooms, two passes to the convention, and $300 spending money. For anyone who missed out on the ticket sales (or just didn’t get through), this was a last chance to maybe get to go.

I, of course, entered. Why not? I had nothing to lose and something awesome to gain. Not that I ever expected to win. Some of the lesser prizes were going to be the Steelseries mice, which I have wanted to try since I first saw them. But I am not shelling out that much money on a mouse I have no idea if I will like. I got my friends to enter as well, and joked that if they won, they had to take me.

The contest was a partnership between Steelseries, Jinx, Brady Games, and Cryptozoic. I have many of the strategy guides, despite them being outdated from the off. I collect the ccg despite rarely playing (I still want a spectral tiger), and I have bought so much WoW stuff from Jinx that I am a Champion on their little exp thing. If anyone deserved to win, I did.

I then promptly forgot all about it. After all, with 12 million players, my chances were pretty close to 1 in a few million. We are talking about the person who took 40+ runs to get a phoenix pet. There wasn’t any chance I was gonna win, so I didn’t even think about it.

Fast forward to October 8th. I am standing in line for Jury Duty. I am texting a friend discussing what I will do if I am not selected. She suggested something wickedly awesome and I replied with “That would be great! Well, thanks for jinxing me.” Laughing over this, my phone rang. It was this same number that had been calling me all week. I didn’t recognize it, and they never left messages, so as always, I ignored it and went back to texting. Then my phone buzzes again.

I have an email. From Steelseries. Asking me to please call them back, (that same number) as I had won a prize. I was shocked. Dude, I actually won something? The jury line moved forward. I was definitely gonna get picked now. It’s just the way my luck works. So I called the number back.

The guy on the other end was quite excited to finally talk to me and told me the good news. Our conversation went something like this:

Him – “You won a trip to BlizzCon.”

Me – “Seriously? Are you kidding me?”

Him – “Yes, I need to confirm your address, and we will get everything rolling.”

Me – “Seriously? Are you kidding me?”

Him – “Yes.”

Me – “Wait… I won the GRAND PRIZE?!?”

Him – “Yes. Do you still live at this address —-.”

Me – “I won the trip TO BLIZZCON?”

Lather rinse and repeat for the next 10 minutes while the line moved forward. I could feel that really wild adrenaline rush you get when you find out you got that awesome job, approved for a new car, or whatever seems exceptionally awesome. My hands started to shake. I couldn’t catch my breath and felt light headed. I got off the phone (almost to the counter now.) Turned in my paper work and sat down.

I was definitely gonna get picked for a jury now. And one of those long ones too. How was I ever gonna explain to a judge that I just won my dream trip and I needed to not be on a jury this month?

I texted my husband “I think I just won a trip to BlizzCon.” The same was posted on Facebook moments later. My heart beat even faster. Part of my brain was shouting, It’s a trick! It’s not possible! You roll ones on mounts and BiS gear! You have run Stratholm 155 times, with no mount drop! I tried not to get too excited.

A man walked up to the front of the jury room. “You are all excused. You shouldn’t receive another summons for 2 years. Have a good weekend.” Clearly, I had entered a portal somewhere and was in bizarro world.

I checked my mail on my phone, sure enough, there was a message from Steelseries explaining the plane tickets and hotel room. Now I had a dilemma, who was I gonna take? My husband, while obvious, doesn’t play WoW. He barely puts up with me talking about WoW around the house. My mind immediately flashed over people in my guild and landed rather quickly on one person. Pinecone. Pinecone has worked with me twice in the past, once even as my boss. Pinecone helped me power level my now main warlock. Pinecone heals Tuesday night raids. Pinecone and I commuted to work together for 8 months and talked about WoW nearly every single day.

I asked him on im if he thought his wife would let him go to BlizzCon. His response “I guess. WAIT. Are you inviting me?!?” Needless to say, he convinced his wife to let him come with me.

Now here we are. A week before BlizzCon. Plane tickets purchased. Hotel room paid for. Just waiting for October 21st. Waiting for BlizzCon. Every so often I remember I won and that moment of shock comes rushing back. I seriously can’t believe it, even now. I don’t win things. Ever. I didn’t get Muradin’s spyglass until everyone else who could use it had theirs. And yet, here I had won a Grand Prize, paid trip to BlizzCon of all places.

And if that weren’t just the icing on the cake, I was goofing off in Stratholm the same weekend and wouldn’t you know, the reins dropped. When it rains it pours I guess. Also, I really feel like I should pick up the mouse now. 🙂

Pandora, a few weeks later

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First, I still love Pandora. However I no longer think it poops rainbows and unicorns. Regardless, it is still a great service and I would love to have it in my car.

Pros:

Wide wide variety of music, from any browser. I know this seems like a weird thing, but when you have a computer you can’t put iTunes on, it is invaluable that it runs through an internet browser.

Plays all the songs on an album, not just the singles. One of my biggest gripes with music today is that so many albums have 1 or 2 good songs, those are the singles, and the rest of the album is just meh. Pandora really helps get a feel for the whole album and artist.

Stations. Stations allow you to compartmentalize your music. You can thumbs down a song on one station and thumbs up it on another. This prevents the “all songs are equally valid” issue.

Info, lyrics, album covers, all right there. I found out one of my favorite songs on the radio is Coldplay. I am very sad about this, but man it is a good song.

Cons

If the service goes down, you don’t get to listen to music.

After a month songs that have been down ranked come back. Also so do artists. I really wish I could just say, don’t ever play this artist. On any station. Ever.

No way to say, play this song an annoying amount. You know the song I am talking about. That one that just cheers you up and makes your day better? Yeah we want to hear that one like 40 times. The normal radio does this, plays a song to death, so why can’t we have it on Pandora too?

Good run of bad luck. They really need to have something that says if I have just skipped or downranked the last 5 songs, play one I have up ranked next.

In the end, I still think Pandora is worth every penny and I love having it.

Annnnd we’re back

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My site was apparently hacked in the last week or two. It seemed to be the work of some individuals who were showing off, or objected to the fact I am American??? I am not really sure. It didn’t make a great deal of sense and played some very loud music, so I didn’t hang out long to read it. Suffice to say it took me like an hour and a half to find all the changed files and change them back.

The funniest thing, to me, is that this even happened at all. My blog has a readership of like 4 people, ever. I mean, seriously, it was hacked for like 5 days and no one noticed. I would say I have *the* most unread blog on the internet, but there are probably ones that even the blogger’s own mother doesn’t read. (I think mine hits this like once every three  months or so.)

I get the mentality of hacking something to show off or “be awesome” but at least do it where someone, anyone, can see. This is the proverbial tree in the woods. It fell and made no sound. It was only by walking back into the forest that I noticed and went, oh hey, that wasn’t like that before. It seems like there are better targets, more challenging targets, and honestly, more interesting targets. I am under no delusion that nothing said here is fascinating, compelling, amusing, or even salacious. (On a side note I am now tempted to try and write said salacious post. It might be funny.) I spend 90% of it talking about WoW, and I wouldn’t even expect WoW players to read it!

Ah the absurdity of life.

Soundtrack for Life

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Soundtrack for Life was the name I gave to the 20 cd collection of songs I burned for listening when driving about in my car. Every song I had downloaded from Napster that was ranked 4-5 stars. There were “theme” discs. “Just Been Dumped” heavily laden with Alanis. “Cheer Me Up” with a large number of up beat pop-y songs. “Road Songs” for the long road trip. I still have most of those cds, sitting in a spindle, a tower of archaic media that memorializes a rather definitive point of my life and personality.

I since moved on to iTunes, iPods, and even to buying cds. (Napster and piracy discussions aside, I would rather purchase an album as physical media, but at that stage I was paying 40k a year to study, it wasn’t like I had an excess of cash to spend on cds. Now in my adulthood, I purchase them without complaint, even going as far as to seek out albums I retain from my Napster days to purchase them. It is the way I support the artist.)

Level Design, as a profession, seems like it would be wildly exciting and interesting all the time. Most of the time you would be right. Each new day brings new challenges. However, when deep in the mines of production, you hit a point where everything has been decided. All the challenges overcome. It is now time to build it. When creating the 40th version of an entity and moving it to it’s proper position, the task begins to weary, and you have 100 more to go. When creating a nav mesh, while it is wildly accurate and a great way to solve that issue, it takes time of brainless work from a designer.

This is where music comes in. Headphones keeps others from bothering you. And the music helps the time pass quickly and keeps your focus. I have used music as a way of focusing since speed mapping at the Guildhall. Unfortunately for me, the OS we are using at work is not supported by iTunes. So I was left without music. This lead me to finding alternate means for listening to my music at work.

I have always liked the radio. I don’t like idiot DJs, playing the same song every hour on the hour, and commercials, but I love the mix of music and the fact that every so often I hear something new. So I decided to try out this Pandora Internet Radio everyone kept talking about.

I was skeptical. The immediate barrage of ads didn’t convince me any. So I started with AFI, and hoped to build my channel. It immediately pulled one of my favorite AFI songs and started playing. Then I added a second band, Rise Against. It then played one of their songs I really liked. Then it played another and another… before I knew it, I had added 10 to 15 bands and created what was very eerily a radio station very very similar to my five star list on iTunes.

By the time I reached song 17, I was completely convinced. Only a single song had come up I didn’t like, and to be fair, it was the ONLY song on that particular album I didn’t like. But I hated the ads. So I checked to see how much this subscription thing cost. At $36 for a year of unlimited commercial free music… sold.

Now, several hours later, I am even more convinced. Pandora is an exceptional service. Can I get it in my car, cause that would just be awesome.

Confessions of an Online Packrat

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I collect things. I just can’t help it. I can try to blame my mother and grandmother. I guess I could try to blame adventure games. (How many times in those games did you pick up everything NOT nailed down because you never knew when you would need it?) I could even try to blame Mario and Sonic – Get the coins/rings! I am doomed in games like Suikoden or Pokemon. In real life, I collect toys, art, movies, books, games…

Is it any surprise I would be any different in World of Warcraft? While reading wow.com today I came across this picture.

Oh yes, that looks shockingly familiar. Actually, it even has more useful items in it than my bank does. I have about 10 spaces in my main vault page that can be used for “useful” items. The entirety of the rest of my bank: crap I can’t get rid of, but is completely useless. (Let me pause to say this refers to my main character, Joyia. While some of my alts are getting just as bad, none are nearly as bad as her.)

One stellar example I trotted out the other night while chatting about just this thing in guild chat is Carrot on a Stick and item from Zul’Farrak by way of a quest chain. The thing is, this item no longer works over level 70. I am level 80. meaning it no longer works. Back in the day, it was VITAL to speedy land movement, and a prized possession one always carried in their bags. But then, it was changed in a patch, and most people deleted or sold their carrot. But I persisted. I worked very hard to get that stupid carrot and there was no way I was getting rid of it now. Plus I have a key chain that has a Carrot on a Stick icon! How could I get rid of it?!?

This is even worse with armor sets. I have half of dungeon 1, all of tier 4, most of tier 5 and 6, and all of tier 7-10. Including some pvp pieces picked up here and there. That’s a ton of gear taking up space. So why save it? Because I worked hard for it. I scraped badges, farmed bosses, worked hard to keep my guild rank to ensure my raid spot, the sheer amount of work that goes in to getting a gear set is staggering. Plus some of them just look cool. Tier 5 for Warlocks for example.

Add to this the mountain of soul bound holiday/flavor stuff and I literally have massive space issues. I keep nothing that isn’t soul bound on my main. It all goes to my bank alt. Thankfully they allow instant mail between characters on the same account. 154 slots of stuff that does nothing currently useful.

Someone said, “Why keep it?” And I don’t have a good answer for them. I have a collection of on use pet summoners. I have a collection of old gear. I even have Rivendare’s sword DESPITE the fact I can’t use it. I don’t have a good reason, but I like keeping it around. I am a pack rat in a virtual world. I am a pack rat in the real world too. I guess my avatar isn’t too far off from real life eh?

Rejection

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So in all my positives, and believe me, I look at the world in the best positive light, there are negatives. Despite the best efforts ever and despite being the best person for a job there is the mistake belief of the people interviewing you that you aren’t quite what they need.

It SUCKS.

You want to scream. You want to shout, give me the chance! I will PROVE TO BE THE BEST DECISION YOU EVER MADE. And yet, you are left rejected, turned down from the perfect job that you could do exceptionally well.

This is especially bad after a “perfect” interview as far as you can see. From your point of view, it was nigh on PRISTINE. You are then left with a sense of doubt, self loss, and worry. Are you truly in the right field? Are you good at what you do? Are you worth the time and amount of money spent in school?

On the eve of such a rejection, for the weakest of excuses (yes, even weaker than “Your test was weak”), I have to say…

Yes. I am GOOD at what I do. I build levels with speed that makes Mario Andriette look like a sloth. I devise ways to do things that other designers and programmers literally say to my face CANNOT BE DONE, and then… I do these things. I look at a problem from all points of view and try to devise multiple solutions to this problem so as to give my lead a multitude of options to solve said problem. I try to apply my unique vision as a girl to game design to solve the question how do we make this awesome for all audiences? I never accept “it cannot be done” as a possible answer. I see the layers of the Matrix and the world that lies under underneath.

It is sad that I cannot convince leads and companies that I am worth the investment. But at the same time, I see these people have a bias. A belief that experience and certain “pedigrees” matter. These pedigrees mean more to them than anything else and they honestly believe that they need someone who fits it to make them happy. I understand this bias despite disagreeing with it.

In the words of one of my favorite writers: If you can quit, do it.

I cannot imagine myself doing anything different, and as such look forward to many indie games from me, as I refuse to let such setbacks stop me. At the end of the day, even this does not deter me. People can say what they wish. Companies can turn me away. But until I give up; the fat lady has not sung. Creating a game is painful and hard, and when you are done the community and Internet at large rips apart that baby you spent all your time, blood, sweat and tears on. It hurts and it sucks… but at the end it is not as bad as being turned down for a job. At least the game ripped apart on Kotaku got made, the company won’t even give you the chance.

But if I let that stop me, well clearly I wasn’t a very good designer to begin with. Roberta would be proud, I think.

Re-Post: In olden days long gone…

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I have always loved historical places and items. Just recently I ordered the Collector’s Edition of Beedle the Bard, by JK Rowling from Amazon.com. (Okay, okay, I didn’t order it recently, I ordered it in July the first day it was available.) The book itself is printed on thick textured paper, in a lovely font with sketches interspersing the pages and bound in leather with silver adornments. It even has a clasp, to keep the book closed. The book is tucked into a velvet pouch, and placed in a large protective case, which also holds a few prints of illustrations from the book. The more I looked at this book and it’s trappings the more I felt the price, $100, was completely worth it. This is a book I would treasure. This was a book I could gift to my children at a later time in my life. All of this got me to thinking, why don’t we make things like this anymore?

Even if I purchase a hard bound book, it is unlikely I would view it as a treasure to be passed on. It is merely a sturdier version of the paperback book. I looked to other “treasured items” I own. A wool blanket, purchased in Scotland, a silver jewelry box from a grandmother, a small porcelain angel purchased in Ireland for another grandmother… All of these things share common traits. They are lovely, detailed, authentic, and have a sense of history or memorial for someone or some event.

More recently I have gotten interested in blog sites that detail unique things, clothing, and houses. It is only after thinking about the book that I began to realize something that ties all these things together. No one makes stuff like this anymore. No one takes the time and effort to put detail and energy into their work and crafts anymore. Look at stuff from the 19th century. No one built a house without adding tons of detail like moldings, railings, wrought iron work, and making each piece look like a work of art. Why do we get excited when we go to old houses or locations like the Seminary? Because they are beautiful and interesting in ways our cookie cutter homes cannot hope to emulate. Cookie cutter is not bad, and is in fact necessary to save money and time thus allowing something to be affordable by the masses, but something is lost along the way. But we have created a disposable society, where things are tossed out and replaced. I suddenly have this vision of the future, where a whole section of history has been lost due to our lack of craftsmanship. Is less history passed on because we do not view it as worthwhile? In a generation will mother’s still pass on treasured items to daughters, or will they simply buy a new one for the daughter? These artifacts are not being created for our generation. I love the heirlooms of the past, but I cannot think of any I would pass on from my home.

The most creative object I have decorated and detailed was a Nerf Maverick. To my daughter: A $5 plastic gun I painted in an interesting manner. Not a crib carved by your father and painted by your mother. One of the very things that makes us human is our ability to create things that are lasting and worthwhile.

Here’s to bringing back the days of intricate detail and adornment. Make something worth keeping and passing on to future generations.

Some Websites that I look at that might be interesting:
http://thesteampunkhome.blogspot.com/2008/10/holly-blacks-hidden-library.html
http://www.gama-go.com/product.php?productid=16669&cat=260&page=1
http://lunchbagart.tumblr.com/
http://www.xylocopa.com/product/mad-science-alphabet-blocks

Good Manners

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I have heard Psychologists call this the Age of Entitlement. The implication is that due to the “everyone is special” teaching practices of the last 20 or so years, we have an entire generation of people who have grown up believing that they are more important than others or entitled to special treatment. This mentality is common enough that I recognize it, even if I don’t apply it to an entire generation. I encounter people who honestly feel it is all about them. These are people who max out their credit cards to buy expensive clothes rather than buy something from Walmart simply because they could never been seen in Walmart clothes. These are people who scoff at economical cars. These are people who look at the unemployed and say “Well I have a job, obviously you are just lazy or aren’t trying hard enough.”

Most of the time, when I encounter these people, I think to myself, I hope karma shows them otherwise, then shrug and walk away. But these “entitled” have begun to worm their way into my holiday and my patience is growing thin. They have the belief that they are more important than others and as such have lost basic Good Manners. They get angry when you wish them a Merry Christmas because offense of offenses they don’t believe in God or Jesus and instead they celebrate a Holiday.

Well wonderful for them. Now they can shut up and go away. As a kid I was often threatened with a spanking if I was rude or mean to someone older than I was. Even now I find myself saying Sir or Ma’am to someone who might remotely be 5 minutes older than me. My mother always told me to be polite, and so I try. Some movie, I can’t remember which, had a character who said “Good Manners is simply a way of telling someone you respect them and you want them to be comfortable.” My, what a revelation! Showing respect for someone you don’t know and trying to make them comfortable?!? How un-entitled of you.

I celebrate Christmas, with a bit of religion thrown in. But if someone wished me a Happy Hanukkah I would smile and say “Thank you! Happy Hanukkah to you as well!” I don’t celebrate Hanukkah, but good manners says I should respect others and their holidays. This means not assuming that they know my beliefs or customs and not being offended when they are wishing me good things in their own way.

We need a little less entitlement and quite a bit more good manners, and some understanding that everyone is someone worth respecting, holidays and all.

Merry Christmas and BAH HUMBUG!

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So I saw a quiz on Facebook that terribly concerned me.

Do you get offended when someone says Happy Holidays?

I looked at this and thought, wow, what an idiot. Who would make a question that was so obviously one sided? Then I read the results. Shockingly 20% of the people said Yes, they were offended when someone said Happy Holidays. Are you KIDDING ME? I am all for political correctness, but this isn’t about being correct or polite, or non-offensive. This is about Christmas.

Put aside your feelings on religion or commercialism and think back to being a kid. There is a reason “like a kid at Christmas” is such an apt comparison to people who are happy and excited. At the very basic level Christmas is about family, friends, celebrating, and doing nice things without the expectation of getting something in return. Christmas is joy, love, peace, and hope all rolled into one ball of well wishes. A beautiful tree, with brightly colored bulbs, bright lights, a cup of cocoa or coffee, snuggled under a blanket looking down at the wrapped packages knowing you are going to get to open them in the morning. Knowing you got someone something they will love and get to see the look on their face when they open it.

When I wish someone a Merry Christmas, or a Happy Holidays I am telling them, I wish for you all the best things this season. I wish for you to spend time with people you love, eating food you love, opening presents you love, and generally just have a wonderful moment in an otherwise normal year.

I am NOT saying you have to believe in Jesus, not saying worship at the altar of capitalism, not saying I think your religion is inferior. I am wishing you a Merry Christmas, in all of the Hallmark sense of the word. I usually respond with Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays depending on what you said to me. To me they are interchangeable and mean the exact same thing.

For those of you out there who get your panties in a twist over someone saying Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays, shame on you. Get over yourself for ONE MINUTE and stop to consider the fact that someone who likely doesn’t know you from Adam, just wished you joy and happiness. How often in this day and age do you get a kind word from someone just for the sake of being nice?